Haha.. I'm just trying out...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

#443

exactly 1mth away from my previous entry.

for the past 1mth. things happened. be it sad or happy...

recall back...

1. gotten back my results.
2. joccy 21st bday
3. office politics
4. hypocrites
5. met up with him
6. SAN - we got 2nd Prize
7. still office stuffs.
8. OFFICE STUFFS!!!!

well happy times don't seem to last longer than sad moments.

for the past 1mth, i seem to encounter alot.Well, a lot of unhappy stuffs. Working stuffs to be exact i would say.
It let me see how cruel the working life is and how ungentlemanly a guy can be. In-front of you, he may appear to be like this, but behind the door, you can never imagine the behavior that the person can portray out.

It also teaches me what to say and what not to say to certain people. Well, humans are selfish. I strongly agree. Some Humans cant be trusted, i begin to believe that as well. The only person whom you can truly trust, im afraid will only be yourself.

I seriously hate myself for being unable to keep everything to myself. Tend to say out everything once anger got into me. This is the lesson I ought to learn.

Someone did tell me, not to tell everything to this person. I don't know whom I should trust or whom I shouldn't trust. To me, now i learnt a lesson. DON'T TELL ANYONE ANYTHING ANYMORE.

TELL MY MUM is the best I guess, though she may not know the whole story to it, but at least someone is there to listen to me.

Never did I expect to feel so ANGRY to the extend that i actually feel like crying out in the office. I fought back my tears. I told myself not to give any comments during the conversation involving him. I act dumb, they noticed it. I told them I am just purely tired. I looked away, not to have any eye contact with any of them. My tears were just so stubborn to come out. Once again, i fought back.

My colleagues are nice.
I am glad to have as my colleagues and friends.

I am glad that my darling came to talk to me even though he came up to look for my snr. exec.
He dint say much, but just joking around with me. This simple gesture just make me smile, and i am happy. . . :)

Not forgetting my snr exec and officer, their help that they rendered, helped me a lot.
At that moment, I just felt being loved by them.

With so many things happened recently, there are 2 occasions, that i actually wanted to tender.
I was contradicted as I don't wish to leave this place cos i love my department, and i don't wish to leave this place just because this particular person. On the other hand, I really had enough. Having a reluctant feeling to come to office every morning. I am stressed over this. But I keep telling myself to be objective.
I stay on...

till the recent incident happened .... i sort of making up my mind that I should not stay longer.
They told me to tolerate since he is leaving soon. & again im confused again.

Just few more days and i will never get to see this person again!
I must tolerate.

Thanks to my colleagues. I may not say anything to you guys, but seriously deep in my heart. I appreciate all the things you guys had helped me. THANKS!!!!

Labels: Me Myself I, Sudden Thoughts

#445

1mth plus since i wrote in...
Super lazy to pen down anything. . .

im receiving my exams results soon.(i estimate the timing...) & im sure im going for at least 1 supp paper, B.Law even though how much i hope i can pass cos the thought of having supp paper this sems really drives me crazy.
4 modules. All theory based. Argghh.

im going to start my blaw revision soon, so when the exam date comes, i will be confident to get it thr.
*i hope i keep to my promise*

everything still remains the same for me.im still that emo and sensitive..well..

as for office . . . nothing much..nothing to say. I shall keep everything to myself and not here.

Staff Night!!!
im required to participate . . . *shit!*
Lets pray hard that we will flunk the re-re audition tml!!!

My New Year Resolution :
1. To shed away all unnecessary stuffs on me.
2. To get my books closer to me.

My Current Wish List :
1. Ali Signature Large Hobo
2. LongChamp Bag
3. E72
4. Acer/Lenovo NetBook
5. Mouse & Thumbdrive

. . .
im.missing.secondary.school.life.alot.
im.missing.school.life.but.not.MDIS.

my stomach hasnt been feeling that good since morning.Sianz.
later i have rehersal or pratice later which really spoil my mood.
what to do. . .

Labels: Misc

#441

Labels: Me Myself I

#440

I'm super bored! I'm waiting for Kenneth to wake up so I can pack my room!!!

I have been rotting since 10am.. Haiz.. Super super duper sianz!


I have a list of things that I want to buy

1. A new Hi-Fi that allows me to insert my itouch to it
2. A new netbook.
3. A new hp. I'm stuck between BB,E72 and Iphone
4. A new bed. Queen or super single doesn't matter
5. A new wardrode

I want to throw

1. My bed
2. My study table
3. My wardrode


I'm practically so sian

I want to do

1. Curl my hair
2. Rebond my hair
3. Watch New Moon

that's all for now...

5th - BBQ
6th - Anim wedding
7th - New Semester
11th - Chalet
14th - Back from chalet
25th - Xmas
26th - BG rom solemenization

and now I wan to go shopping!!!

Labels: Misc

#438

finally tml will be my last paper...
I really regret not studying well or properly for my econs and law paper...
I'm prepared for the supp paper but still I'm not feeling good and very sad.

No one seems to understand how I feel... And I don't know how to express myself to them.
I'm tired!

FOA 2 paper tml, I'm trying my best to keep doing the tutorial qns but at the same time I'm afraid that the questions tml will be very different from the tutorial qns.
I'm really going crazy. This sems seems to keep me busy from studies. I couldn't concentrate and I'm not in any mood to prepare myself for the exams at all.
Well, I told them... No one believes. They thought I'm okay and will be fine... The fact is I'm not okay at all! I can say since the start of this sems, I seriously don know what's going on. Beside the things that had happened, and most of the time in class, I was like wandering around... And the stress I have got in office recently....

I have alot of stuffs I need to do and prepare for my new boss.
I miss Raymond.. Haiz

no one is giving me stress but I'm giving myself stress...
Everyone hopes I can do well or I will do well, but I can't.. I don want to disappoint them but I really can't get myself to settle down and study without thinking of the office work and him.

I wan to win but I only know how to say but no action from me at all.
I tried my best to do during exam... But everything just gone when I saw the paper.. At that moment I know it was a gone case for me. My mind went blank.
I tried my best to squeeze whatever I can but nothing comes out....

I told them, I can't... But they said, there shouldn't be any problem for me.
No ones believes what I said and thought that I'm fake when I said I sure fail... Just becos I passed all in first sems?

I'm really tired... I'm not that clever or steady as what people had thought of...
This sems, I died!
It's going to be a tough one for me next sems...
With 4 modules and the supp papers... I don know how am I going to deal with it

humans are selfish creatures...
So in order to protect urself, u ought to be selfish...
I'm going to be selfish....

Wish me all the best for tml...
I really hope I can excel for tml...

Labels: Sudden Thoughts

#437

7more days to my 2nd sems exam!!!

Well, I'm not well prepared at all infact not even prepared!
I'm drained during work!

I dread of going to work now... Maybe phobia. There are 2 times I actually wanted to tender. This actually the first time I'm losing my cool...
Well, I just hope everything will be over fast. My exams over. Everything over.

Exams don't seem to be in my mind at all! I can't concentrate on studies and put myself to revision. I was extreme tired everyday after work. Having headache and can't even tahan till 1am, I will definitely fall asleep. I'm not doing any reading at night even though I tell myself i have to.

I really have the urge of quitting my work and study full time... But there are times I really can't get myself to quit the job.
I don Noe what to do....

It's super irritating and frustrating... Having so many problems going on during this period. A big challenge for me....

I'm missing him... Alot and alot...
He simply occupying my mind constantly, but how do I tell him??
(:

Labels: Me Myself I, Sudden Thoughts

#436

我知道你还是爱我
虽然分开的理由
我们都已接
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使道最后
还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会往离开时
闭着眼没会头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实着份爱没停过
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流。。。

I'm stuck in my revision，nothing seems to go in and I can't understand a single thing. This is so serious...
How am I going to take exam in this situation!?

Sucks. My ankle hurts again.. Damn it!
I wan to do alot of things but studying for exams doesn't seem to be on the list.. I need a place with nothing that can't tempt me... My house is definitely no no place for me.

Library seems to ve crowded and noisy!
Where else???

I need to rent a room at pasir ris to lock myself inside and study...
I hate exams!!!

Please bless me.. I really don want to retake..

Labels: Me Myself I

#435

OKAY.IM VAIN. HAHA.

THAT JL SUDDENLY ASK ME TO MAKE UP FOR HIM TO SEE..KINDA OF WEIRD LA.

HE ASKING ME TO MEET HIM UP THIS WEEK, ANY DAY AFTER MY LESSON.... I TOLD HIM FRIDAY, BUT FRIDAY NO LESSON. HAHA. AND I DIN KNOW.
BUT I HAD MADE PLAN FOR MY FRIDAY.
MJ'S THIS IT IS...

22DAYS MORE TO EXAMS...AND IM STILL FARMING AND COOKING IN FB. CANT YOU IMAGINE..

WHO THE HELL CREATE THIS GAME...IM SO ADDICTTED TO IT NOW
GOSH...

YTD DINT GO TO WORK COS WASNT FEELING THAT WELL...SO WAS RESTING AT HOME.

I ACTUALLY WOKE UP AT 6AM..DEN BACK TO SLEEP ALL THE WAY TILL 10PLUS.
BUT THE ACTUAL TIMING I ACTUALLY GOT MYSELF OUT OF BED WAS ARD 1 PLUS. HELPED MY DAD WITH HIS GST AND HE BOUGHT LUNCH FOR ME AS RETURN. HAHA.

LUCKILY. COS IM SUPER DUPER HUNGRY...
HAD LUNCH AS WELL AS WATCHING ANY SHOWS I CAN FIND ...
WATCHED JIA HAO YUE YUAN...
DEN I GOT A MISSED CALL FROM MY COLLEAGUE. ASKING ME SOME PASSWORD FOR THE SYSTEM.

I GAVE HIM..BUT WAS WRONG. LOL!!
DEN IM ABIT PANIC..SO I WENT TO BATHE AND GOT MYSELF A CAB AND CHIONG ALL THE WAY TO UC.

515 REACHED OFFICE..LOOKING AROUND FOR THE PASSWORD THAT I REMEMBER I WROTE DOWN SOMEWHERE..BUT COULDNT FIND..

IN THE END, MY COLLEAGUE HACK THE PASSWORD.
DURING THE JOURNEY TO UC, MY HEAD WAS LIKE SO PAIN AND I FELT LIKE VOMITTING.

AFTER THAT 545, I WENT TO TAKE BUS TO DG FOR MY EVENING LESSON. MY HEAD STILL HAVING PAIN AND I TRIED TO SLEEP BUT I CANT.
THE FEELINGS JUST SIMPLY SUCKS!

REACHED CLASSROOM, I WENT CONCUSS.

NOT FEELING WELL AS WELL AS NOT HAPPY COS SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
WELL, I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY, BUT START TO THINK OF THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH WENDY AND JOJO AT THE GRAFFITIC CAFE...

HAD A FUNNY ENCOUNTER DURING THE BREAK TIME. THIS CLASSMATE OF MINE CAME TO ME AND TALKED TO ME. ASKING ME WHY AM I SO QUIET. HAHA..DEN HE TRIED TO BREAK THE ICE BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF TO (HAND SHAKE SOMEMORE). HE IS FUNNY AND FRIENDLY.I WAN TO MIGRATE TO THEIR GROUP...MAYBE I WILL BE HAPPIER~

ANYWAY, IM NOT GOING TO THINK ALL THE UNHAPPY THINGS. AS IT WILL ONLY MAKE ME MORE UNHAPPY... IM GOING TO IGNORE EVERYTHING AT LEAST FOR NOW.

EVEN 1 DAY, THERE ISNT ANYONE THERE FOR ME, I KNOW MY COUSINS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME...WHENEVER I NEED THEM....

LOVE EM ALL

Labels: Celebration, Me Myself I

#434

I just checked my email...

I know im petty and i shouldnt care or even bother so much.
If she is more important, than thats be it. I shouldnt care so much and let it affect me.
I know something must have happened, but i just dont want to ask... afraid to know.
Since he wants to hide, and i should act blur too.
Cos i really dont wish to bother it anymore.
Im TIRED.

but i really cant make myself not to think about it. WTF la
why must i get to know this at this kind of timing.
My head hurts now.

Why am i doing so much and not being appreciated?
Why must i keep thinking what i should do for him?
Why must i always be so sad cos of him?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why my mind is always him him him him & HIM?
Why am i being controlled by him?
Why my emotional is being affected by him?
WHY? WHY? WHY?

I keep telling myself, dont think and dont think and dont think...
Why just cant my mind be obedient?
Why should i care so much about him?

Me doing so much and she not doing anything, in the end, she is always the one who comes to your mind first.

Im just so tired . . .
im tired ... and im helpless...
i dont wish to do anything or bother anything or care anything.
ANYTHING ABOUT HIM IS NON OF MY BUSINESS NOW.
I WAN TO GET HIM OUT OF MY LIFE.

Im sick of doing so many things that make me so fake.
I hate myself to be so happy whenever i tell 'Asshole' about him.
I hate that he can actually make me so go happy and sad.
I hate that i actually did so much for him.

Well, i should get on with my life and stop disturbing him anymore.

Say me crazy or whatever you like.
this is me.

suddenly alot of things came into my mind.
picturing of them going out tgt.
i hate this.
there is fear and my tears are fighting to come out.
i dont want.
im afraid.


Today after work, i walked to the guard house to do something before i left the Campus. I saw this colleague of mine from other department sitting outside waiting for the shuttle bus.

He : How come you walked out of the guard house?
Me : Cos i walked in from there and out from here.
He : Waiting for bus also
Me : nope, im walking to station, you waiting for bus huh?
He : Ya.

*very funny, we just started talking like that, and he just accompanied me to station...*
so we were talking and talking...

at the zebra crossing, when we about to cross, there was this taxi who was so engrossed on the other side of the road and missed to see there is actually a zebra crossing, and sway sway, me and him was crossing the road. & even more sway, i nearly got hit down if he din sudden brake.
He scolded the driver... i found it funny more than scared cos before we were crossing the road, he was actually telling me he has changed alot... and has nearly 1.5yrs since he last scolded valguar language, but he actually nearly scolded valguarity at the driver.

I laughed at him.But he was still telling me about the driver. Saying he would have asked the driver to come down and talked.
HaHaHa....
then he told me, just now i dont know whether i should scold the driver or pull you away.
I kept on laughing, cos the way he said, was damn funny.
He is a funny guy.

met up with dap to settle our lunch and do some mini shopping.
I need to get hp pouch, earphone, heels...
but i cant get any in the end...

went to anim house to get his wedding invitation card.
he is cute and i miss him alot! :)

walked back to dap house while me continue walking to the bus stop back to my house.
the weather is scary hot. and im tired.
yet to fully recover from my body aching...

& now im doing my dad's account as well as blogging...
im not happy today!

Labels: Sudden Thoughts

Tag me if you want to be linked.
If you are linked, please link me back as well.


♥♥Floppy
AdeLine
Daphne
Jocelyn
PeiYun
Roderick
Wendy

Qinyi
store-room : Pls Support!!

PeiFen
JooKiang

THE CLOTHING FACTORY
Faizal
Joyce
Issace
Joseph
Junming

MerLin
Rina

Eunice
Jamie
JiaYan
LiYoung
SiYing

Jesmine
Joann
Natara

URL[song] : song.

Pls do not remove this section.

Designer: bw0kensmile-x
Image Hosting: photobucket.com
Image Hosting: imageshack.us
Image source: deviatart
Tagboard: cbox.ws.com
Music: baidu.com
Cursor: dorischu